I must say that going to the company Christmas party was a treat.  I was a little apprehensive to go, like usual.  Found a cute sparkly top and my leather jacket and away we went.  It really feels good to have people come up to me and be all happy for me and my weight loss, but I get a little frustrated, too.  I had a few people ask me how I did it and they turned their nose up at the word 'surgery'  Like it was a dirty word.  Too bad!  It is the tool I chose to help me succeed.  (Yes, one woman was extremely skinny).  

I'm not ashamed of my decision to have surgery.  I am proud of it!  What I truly dislike is when someone asks and then rolls their eyes at me.  Don't ask me if you don't really want to know.  I am figuring these are the people that are not really friends.  Or even good acquaintances.  Probably have a lot of negative things to say regardless of the answer I give.  Pfft!  Whatever!  I didn't do this for them.  I did this for me.  For my hubby and my family.  I did this to be well!  

I met up with another woman, whom I hadn't seen in maybe ten years and she told me she had bariactric surgery the month before me!  We sat together for a bit comparing notes and how happy we feel now and all the wonderful little victories we have experienced.  We are both down more than 70 pounds!  How very cool to meet someone else that is excited!

I came across this today on a forum.  The poster said it was from a blog.  The information is exactly what I need to remember.  Here it is:

"HUNGER is the need to eat. APPETITE is the desire to eat. Many people assume the two are mutually exclusive but they are not. You can need to eat even when you have no desire to eat and you can have a desire to eat even when you don’t need to eat."

"Many simply don’t feel hunger post-op, but our bodies find ways to tell us that we need to eat. Learn those cues (light-headedness, shaky hands and fatigue are common ones). Then use what you know to determine how much and how often you need to eat. "

"Hunger is NOT an emergency. Yes you are hungry. No you will not die if you have to wait 20 minutes or so until your next meal. For those who have reactive hypoglycemia or diabetes, this may be different. But barring those circumstances, it truly is your head freaking out. Your body has a defense mechanism against starvation. It’s called fat. Those feelings you are feeling that are pushing you to have that “tide you over” snack? They come from somewhere. Something is driving them. Figure out what that is and you’ve done yourself a great service."

" Impulse eating is a result of allowing your appetite to dominate your food decisions. Like I said, appetite can exist outside of hunger. You can WANT something you don’t need at that moment. "

"Overcoming impulse eating is a matter of slowing down the situation. It takes a certain commitment to stopping yourself (sometimes when you are in “mid-reach”) to ask yourself some questions. Why am I reaching for this food? Am I hungry? What am I feeling? How will this food make me feel after I eat it? Is it going to make me sick? Is it going to make me depressed."


I needed to re-post this, so I can find it again.  Something to read over and over again.  

Three Months later

Three months have gone by and I have lost a total of 70 pounds since starting this venture.  41 since my actual surgery date.

I haven't had to take a nap in over a month!  I am actually accomplishing lots!  Housecleaning, scrapbooking, visiting with friends!  Lots of activities, too.  Sleeping at night is so good now.  I feel so rested every morning.  Ready to start the day.

Hubby bought me a Xbox 360 with Kennect and we've been having a blast.  My favorite are the dance games!  Too funny!  I can hardly keep up and it leaves me giggling!  But what a workout!  Hey!  I'm moving!

Size 16 clothes or size large.  Wow!  They look small compared to what I'm used to!  Thank goodness for Value Village having a 50% off sale this week.  I bought my first winter coat in five years.  Picked up lots of tops and jeans.  Stuff for now and for the next size down.

I am finally able to get more food in me.  And water is tasting a whole lot better now.  Still can't stand the taste of chocolate.  Even hot chocolate has lost its appeal.

I am finding it interesting all the commercials on tv that advertise crap.  Especially food no one should put in their body!  No wonder obesity is out of control!  Almost every commercial.  Go into a corner store and I can't buy anything healthy.

Two months later

Here it is, two months after surgery and I am stalled.  I've been trying to add more foods to my daily meals, but I'm not enjoying it.  The biggest struggle I have right now is drinking enough water.  I can't seem to get that in me.  The taste doesn't appeal to me and the idea of - "is it thirst or hunger" still hasn't caught on yet.

Only a couple more pounds and I will finally hit ONEderland!  I am so looking forward to that!  To get out of the 200's almost seems unreal!  So close!!

On another note...XBOX with Kinnect is an awesome way to get in some exercise!  I love the dancing game!  So much easier on my joints.  And gets me moving in a more fun way.  I love to dance...both of my left feet don't seem to mind either!  So fun to try to keep up!

Hiking

Hiking...who knew?  I love it!  Today, we went for a lovely drive out to the Scarecrow Invasion in a town along the coast, and then to hike up to a look off over the valley.  It was only about three kilometers in and I had the dog with me who seemed to go rather quickly, pulling me along and up the hill.  Over rocks and tree roots with no benches except one at the top.  What a beautiful view!  The trees are changing colour with the season!  Reminded me of a mountain top we used to live on a long time ago!

A couple of months ago, I wouldn't have even attempted this hike, let alone up the hill.  Today, no pain in my legs, knees, hips or feet!  Wow!  What happens when you shed 48 pounds!  I took a bottle of water along and made sure to drink lots.  JR fell asleep as soon as we got back to the car, but not me!  And here I sit, hours later and still awake.  And no pain!

OH, the freedom!  I am so getting my life back!  Disney... I am not far from enjoying all that I can from you...

My 50th birthday

Today, I turn 50.  Lots of cards and gifts from wonderful family and friends.  Lots of birthday wishes on Facebook.  No cake.  And I don't miss it.

I made Caesar salad with baked chicken breast.  My first salad since surgery.  Oh, how I have been craving this!  No pain.  Yeah!  I am learning to be careful with how much I put on my plate and then to eat slowly.  It's working out great!

I went to "The Big Smoke" on the weekend to visit with my sisters and brought the Zucchini Manicotti recipe with me to share.  They loved it!  Even my niece loved it!  It was something I was a little worried about as I have never been able to share a recipe with them.  They have always eaten really well and never indulged in over eating.  Whoo hoo!  Made my day when they enjoyed it and want to make it again!  And they were surprised that I didn't wolf down my meal like I used to.  We all sat and enjoyed each other's company just chatting and sharing about our lives.  So relaxing and fulfilling.  I have shared my favorite blogger's web site with them and I know they will love her, too!  Thanks Eggface!

I did have chocolate for the forth and final time last week.  It is awful!  I tried a small thin milk chocolate and it, too, was bitter.  So, my taste has changed.  I'm not going to waste my time with it anymore.  Sad to see it go, but happy I no longer have the desire to indulge in it.

The weight loss has slowed down now.  But I expected it.  I have introduced real food back into my diet.  Now to get back to exercise!  Would it please stop raining? 

One Month Later

This month has been eye opening to say the least.  I have had to face head hunger quite a few times and learned what foods are trigger foods and why I feel the need to eat when I'm not hungry.  One of my biggest problems was how much I hate being alone.  Every time I am alone, I want to eat.  More than once I found myself standing in front of an open fridge and knowing I couldn't eat anything from inside, I realized why I was standing there.  I was trying to fill the emptiness.  Only now, of course, I can't.  I like my day busy and full of friends and family.  I have to learn to live with myself, and accept that there will be times I will be alone and I don't have to fill up on food.

I have had to face head hunger of junk food, too.  Went into Walmart a few times and shortly afterwards I craved chips.  Every time.  Staying out of the stores unless I really need something can help with this one.  No window shopping.

I haven't been tempted to cheat much, but when the constipation got really bad last week I was tempted to go to Dairy Queen.  I know how that reacted before on me and was wanting relief.  I didn't allow any kind of reasoning to sway me, though.  No Dairy Queen!  I was proud of even the little wins like this one!

I grocery shopped a couple of times and bought only what was on my list.  No junk food and no food that are not on the safe list.  I truly felt empowered!  And trying new recipes mostly from "The World According to Eggface".  The blog author also had weight loss surgery and she is a chef.  She blogs her recipes for the rest of us who have had surgery and need to find a healthy way to eat and not make more than we need to.  Awesome recipes!

My hubby did the math last night and told me I was half way to my goal already.  What??  I had to redo it.  I only got into my size 18 clothes this week, and they are already loose.  I have a few items of size 16 and may have to shop soon!  But you know what I am hating to shop for the most?  Bras.  I wish I could just get a sports bra and be comfortable!

I must add here that I am feeling wonderful!  Not sluggish or tired and drained.  Arthritis has quieted down.  Not much flaring up there.  Blood Pressure has returned to normal.  Even FM still behaving.  Off most of my meds now.  Still no CPAP machine.  I'm loving this new found freedom!